give upAfter begging to learn trumpet, your son takes three lessons and decides he is done. Your daughter suddenly wants to drop out of swimming, even though she’s one of the best on the team. It can be difficult to know when to push your child to stay with an activity and when to let him or her give it up. While there are rarely cut-and-dried answers to the question, “should they stay or should they go,” we’ve rounded up some considerations to help you weigh your approach with your child.

When to Give Up:

– When you realize that your child is not ready for the experience. Perhaps he isn’t developmentally prepared for the physical aspects. Or she can’t emotionally handle the competitive nature of a group. Taking a breather until they’ve grown or matured may help not only their success with the activity, but also their enjoyment of it.

– When your child has already “quit.” If your child has already disengaged from an activity, you have little to gain from forcing him to keep showing up.

– When the environment is toxic. If your child faces a nasty coach or bullying peers, and you have done what you can to confront the problem, then it’s time to make a hasty exit. Childhood is too short for your child to be made to feel bad about herself during an extracurricular activity.

When to Stick It Out:

– When the end is near. If your child decides she wants out with only a few days or competitions left, push back. Remind her of how much she has already invested in the activity, compared to how little remains to be done.

– When the activity has only just begun. The unfamiliar can be daunting. And kids can be prone to snap judgments. If your child asks to quit during the first few days or events, suggest he give it a little more time.

– When your child has a habit of quitting. If you see a pattern developing, you may want to hold your ground to help her learn commitment.