“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” –Rumi
Parenting is a tough job and having patience with our children is a skill we need to master. Here are some ways to help us as parents stay calm, cool and collected:
Watch for Signs
Watch for signs that you are on the brink of being impatient. Perhaps you’re hungry, tired or worried–determine what triggers your anger. If you find yourself heading that direction, correct it, i.e. grab a snack, take a break, spend time in prayer or meditation, etc. Do what it takes to calm down.
Try Whispering
Instead of yelling, try whispering when you need to get your child’s attention. He’ll wonder why you’re being so quiet and it will probably help diffuse the situation.
Take Time to Listen
In the heat of the moment you and your child may need time to cool down. Take a short break then come back together. Listen to your child’s heart to find out the underlying need behind his misbehavior. Acknowledge and empathize with your child’s feelings, while still maintaining the proper boundaries you have set up, like no talking back, yelling, etc.
Allow for Natural Consequences
According to “Love & Logic” by Dr. Foster Cline and Jim Fay, when parents allow for natural consequences to occur and offer sincere empathy to their children, it gives children a sense that they can make choices and learn from their mistakes. An example would be instead of telling your six-year-old to remember to pack his surfboard for the beach, you simply let him remember. If he forgets his surfboard, then offer empathy (no yelling or reprimand). It’s a safe place to learn a lesson of responsibility, and he’ll probably remember his board the next time around.
Your child is still learning and growing, so having patience is essential. By giving yourself time to cool down, allowing for natural consequences and recognizing that your child is in a process, hopefully you’ll be encouraged. Remember to take it one day at a time, one moment at a time. JP
