As a toddler, my daughter had issues with separation anxiety. The minute she realized we were headed for the church nursery, she would wrap her pudgy arms tightly around my neck and push her face into my shoulder. The nursery volunteers would have to peel her – shrieking and squirming – from my torso. But then, without fail, once I disappeared from sight she would turn off the tears and play happily.
Putting your child in someone else’s care – without the tears (theirs, not yours) – for even a short time can be tough. Minimize the emotion for both of you by trying one of these mom-tested tips:
– Practice shorter times apart, such as having a neighbor stop by to watch your child while you run to the store. These departures with a quick return provide reassurance that you will be back.
– If you’re dropping your child off at a new place or somewhere they regularly resist, send along a familiar object from home for comfort. Let them pick a favorite toy to play with, or a stuffed animal or blankie to cuddle.
– Do you know the phrase, “out of sight, out of mind”? Don’t linger when leaving your child. You might be expecting to watch him settle, but if your child senses you are still near, he may continue putting up a fuss.
– Day care workers, nursery volunteers and teachers are all prepared to provide friendly interactions that distract children from their sadness. But sometimes a friend can make the difference between distress and delight at drop off. Ask the mom of a classmate if you can arrange a play date – at your house or a favorite playground. Then plan to meet up again outside the door for drop off. Give the pair a chance to reacquaint themselves before sending them together into their class.
If your child continues to protest about being left, consider taking a break from that setting. Given just a few months of maturity, you might find a whole new scenario when you go to leave him next.
