Shopping for maternity clothes. Decorating the nursery. Sending out the birth announcements. Detailing all the “firsts” in the baby book…
All of this (and more!) come with news of the arrival of a baby, sending many of us into a frenzy of activity. But with all the excitement of a new baby, it’s important to take care of yourself in order to take care of baby. Building the bonds of attachment help build a strong foundation for baby’s healthy brain, emotional and physical development. So, how do you help make sure you’re creating a secure environment?
Before you’ve even met your baby, the bonding begins. Take every opportunity during pregnancy to lovingly rub your belly and sing to your baby. Visualize the type of parent you want to become, and talk to your baby about it. Your baby is learning who you are before you’ve even met, and you’re setting the stage for a rewarding parenting experience.
Once baby is born, the real work begins. And while they are snuggly little bundles of unimaginable joy, it’s easy to become exhausted or overwhelmed by the demands of newborn care. This is the time to make sure you’re taking care of yourself so that you can care for your little one! Rely on Dad, friends or grandparents for support; ask for help when you need it; and remember to rest, so you can recharge. When you are relaxed, baby is relaxed, and the bonds of secure attachment can grow.
Never underestimate the power of touch. By wearing your baby in an infant carrier, your baby gets an intimate view of your world, with the security of knowing mom (or dad) is close by. Massage is also a powerful way to soothe your baby and to learn their likes and preferences. Start with firm but gentle strokes down baby’s arms and legs, along with clockwise circles on the belly. Many babies are calmed by the motion, and it’s a wonderful way to connect.
Finally, whether baby is crying nonstop or you’re simply feeling worn out, remember to breathe. It sounds simple, but deep, cleansing breaths have a way of lifting stress from your body and allowing you to think clearly. When you’re relaxed, you’re able to attune to your child’s needs, and that’s what secure attachment and bonding is all about.
Lisa Kimura is a mother of three and the executive director of Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies Coalition of Hawaii. She has a background in communications, advocacy work and early childhood development and studied at the Parent Coaching Institute to help empower parents with family support and education. She was appointed to the Governor’s Early Learning Advisory Board and is a member of the Women’s Legislative Coalition, Fetal Alcohol Task Force, Safe Sleep Hawaii, and is trained as a breastfeeding peer counselor and certified lactation educator.
